Writing in
English as a Second Language
first
published in Magnapoets July 2010 issue. Revised for The Gypsy Art Show Blog.
English has always been a language I felt acquainted with, even before I
could actually speak it fluently. My parents had lived over seven years in
California and I had been kept amazed in this atmosphere of souvenirs from a
dreamed America, stuck in the late 50s, early 60s, with my parents twenty or
thirty years younger, and my big brother in nappies or shorts.
All these images on super 8 films and photographs never made me jealous
nor did they make me sad not to have been part of the experience – I was not
born yet. They just filled me with wonder and encouraged me to know more about
English and all the countries and cultures related to it.
It took over another decade for me to be able to live my dream and go
abroad, just across the English Channel. Bath, Cirencester, Manchester – three
cities I have lived in. Three cities in which I got used to not only speaking
English and put aside my mother tongue for a while but to start dreaming and
writing in English.
As far as I can remember, the starting point was when Dr. Teresinka
Pereira – a teacher at Bluffton College, Ohio – sent me her poems and suggested
I translated them into French. Soon, her words on paper and the life I was
living then pulled me towards an exercise I would not have thought be ready
for: putting my own words on paper in a language which had just been a topic of
study and a useful vehicle of needs and services.
English had suddenly taken the shape of a language to transpose my
thoughts, emotions, feelings, frights, joys, phantasms, desires, repulsions,
dreams and nightmares on paper.
The funny thing is that writing in English is less exhausting, less
draining, asks less efforts from me than writing in French.
I could not explain it really, but I am so fond of English and American
literature, always read, watch and listen more works from artists of English
culture that I guess words in English come more naturally to me than French
words do.
In the late 1990s, Teresinka Pereira was the first editor to trust me
with English and published two small booklets with short collections of poetry
of mine
.
Then, I came back to France, had to fulfil my military duties – they still existed at the time – during
which I wrote a collection of poems entitled Hospital of the Armies and
which was written the way poets such as Harry R. Wilkens, Erich von Neff or
Pradip Chouduri, all English-speaking poets from various parts of the globe,
write poems themeselves.
I also used English to write this collection in order to hide all the
negative thoughts I expressed against the French navy and the waste of time and
ludicrousness this period implied. It was also to hide the rather crude sexual
images inside it. I could not be sure these pages would not be read by one of
my superiors or one of the “crew members”. It was writing in English as the
most debased way to write: under a mask or doing auto censure.
I then got several part-time jobs, went back to University, carried on
writing – too little – and publishing mgversion2>datura (ex-Mauvaise graine)
,
stopped to concentrate on my new job as a TESL (Teacher of English as a Second
Language), moved places several times and English came back slowly as a means
to write poetry and fiction.
The thrill had come back to me and has not ceased since then. Over the
last seven years, I have had the opportunity to meet more and more
English-speaking poets, writers and artists, translate their works, publish
them, and be able to publish my own poems in various magazines.
Each time I receive a positive answer to my submissions, I am filled with
pride and amazement. Pride because you are never totally accustomed to being
published even after fifteen years or so of relationship with editors and
magazines – well,
I am not. Amazement because it took me less than five
years to be published quite widely in English, American, Canadian... blogs and
magazines – whether with translations of my own works or with original English
material – when it had taken me over a decade to be recognized as a poet on the
French-speaking scene
.
It took me just a few weeks to have my first genuine collection of poetry
in English – De Maore (From Mayotte) – accepted by Lapwing Publishing (Belfast,
Northern-Ireland) when I am still struggling to have another one written in
French accepted by any French publishers. I guess even my early works is filled
with images and symbols that have more impact and are more meaningful to
English-speaking readers than French-speaking ones. This I suppose is one of
the other reasons why I chose to write in English, even sometimes translating
my earlier poems in this language
I discovered the Anglo-American culture at school first and plunged into
it when I sat at University. This language is useful in everyday life and to
discover the world, it is a language you cannot do without. It has allowed me
not only to communicate with many people all around the globe, and probably
still will, but also to discover my own world, my inside world, all the
abilities beyond my knowledge. Discover yet another part of my own conscience.
Walter RUHLMANN
Nantes, May 21, 2012
[1] Space
Unconsciousness and Fireflies,
IWA Editions, 1997.
[2] A literature
magazine published and printed from 1996 to 2000 now on line and available in
print through lulu.com
[3] Writing in
French allowed me to be published in French as well as Swiss and Belgian
magazines.